OVERLOAD!

I never thought keeping a blog would be so hard. So many people make it look so easy. But for me, it's just down right hard. I've thought about the reasons that I struggle. And these are the reasons for all of my struggles, not just the blog.

 First, is the fact that I have three children boys! Three VERY active BOYS!!

 Second, my oldest was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) just about the time of my last post (2011). We've made tremendous progress in the last three years but every single day is still a challenge. We have been going through therapy weekly, have restructured our entire life, and wake up every morning wondering how his mind/body will respond that day. He got into a fight at school this week. It was a HUGE blow to my confidence in myself as a mother. I'm still not completely over it. It's one of the few times in my life that I am struggling to incorporate laughter into this situation. Living with a child struggling with SPD is enlightening, exhausting, and so many other words all wrapped into one!!

 My next struggle is that I don't feel like I can sit down to write when I have things to do around the house. I understand that there will always be things to do, but I can't keep my house clean for 5 minutes! We live in a tiny apartment with three little boys. No washer and dryer, no dishwasher, no garage, no basement, no attic. We have way too many people and way too much stuff for this apt. I go through our stuff regularly and get rid of what we don't need, but it's still way to much stuff. Plus, the dishes and laundry pile up disgustingly fast. It's down-right overwhelming. I have friends that tell me to just let the mess go and blog anyway, but it makes me crazy! And, as soon as I decide that I don't care someone knocks on the door. I can't even count how many times I have called my mom SOBBING because someone walked into this house unexpected. It's mortifying and not the way that I wish our life was going. School was supposed to take two years, not five. We moved here with one child and never thought we'd leave with three! (I do love them dearly and would never wish for anything different!) But, I am whining now... so on we go.

 Lastly (well, not really, but I will end here), I feel like I have no time to create. I have the desire but not the time.

 I had mostly given up on blogging but my husband has said multiple times that he thinks I'd be good at it, and that it'd be good for me. Then he got all techie on me and saw how many blog views I've had after only posting four times and I was shocked! There were also two wonderful comments that really built my self esteem. So, here I am giving it another try.

 "Goose" has many times a day when he is on "sensory overload" and is almost disabled and can't function properly. It's a lot of work to get through it, but he is a trooper and pushes forward. I feel like I am on "life overload" and have been unable to function like I should. It's my goal to push forward like my son has to everyday of his life. His daily trials have helped me realize that I need to set aside my mama drama and move forward!

 Here's to blogging and searching for creative opportunities and lots of laughter!!